Archive | January, 2016


24 Jan

Last night I had a difficult time sleeping. My spirit didn’t feel at peace and I had many unclear thoughts floating through my sleepy yet uncomfortable mind. I was ruminating on unformed thoughts, like words that balance on the tip of the tongue. I prayed that God would bring clarity to what he wanted me to understand, and he gave me a sliver of a revelation.

As an established adult with three children, I can see both the beginning and the end of life. I remember my childhood so easily, all the while foreseeing my children in adulthood with their own children, and I have come to realize the shortness of life. I spent a large fraction of my given life discontent, although I have been on a road for the past few years understanding the intimacies of a relationship with God and I have felt such fulfillment in basking in who God is and His love for me. Without going in to too many details, I can list things that I have not been content with throughout my life: My figure, my physical features, my expectations, my house, my parenting, my lack of knowledge, wisdom, and understanding, just to name a few extremely broad categories.

As I have conquored different giants within myself, I have encountered people who are  absolutely consumed by their discontentment and I have thought with some surprise, “You haven’t gotten that, yet?” However, I have realized that not everyone has sat in the same class of life as I, and as a result, I have had a clarifying revelation.

Last night among the nebulous thoughts in my spirit, I heard whispers of “destroy” and “destruction” and “be consumed.” They were chants of the darkness that I saw around a weak and frail body of believers. I felt paralyzed and feeble.  But just as soon as I started curling in to a ball, I burst forth like a ball of fire in the darkness and declared the word that Jesus came to give life, and life in abundance.

Upon waking this morning, I felt tired from my restless night. I still, at that moment, didn’t understand the many murmers of my spirit from the evening; all I could say is that I felt weird and uncomfortable and hadn’t slept peacefully, even though I prayed, “en paz me acostaré, así mismo me dormiré.” (Psalm 4:8 In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.)

Throughout the morning I carried the echos of the night with me, and I felt as if I was in a strange land with a foreign tongue and I hadn’t been able to understand what was being said around me.

At church, my pastor breezed over a verse and paraphrased how Jesus came to give us abundant life. “Abundant life” kept reverberating in my spirit, like a string plucked strongly and left to sound. Thoughts slowly began to come together to coherence.

It is here that I have come to declare that those who call themselves believers have a form of godliness, but deny the power of the Creator of the universe. The devil has set out to destroy anything that he can place his hands on, and his destruction is the obvious and the obscure. He is delighted when those who claim to follow God focus so much on themselves and on their shortcomings that they ignore living an abundant life and are in a constant state of emergency within themselves. Their energy is spent on conquoring their giants that they have nothing left over to give others. I am here to say that Jesus conquored it all! He conquored the grave! You do not have to fight yourself; you have to surrender to Him. How much more effective can we be as Christians if we don’t have to focus our energy on putting out a dozen grassfires every day. God comes like a rushing ocean. Are our battles too much for Him? Stop battling and start surrendering.

A few weeks ago, someone was discouraged because “the church people” weren’t getting it. I said, “don’t waste your time ministering to church people. Jesus came to seek and save the lost.” While I agree with myself, this is the word to you today to live abundantly.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

John 10.10