Homesick Morning

22 Jul

I’m feeling kind of sad today.  Maybe a better word is nostalgic.  Today is the first time in 4 weeks and 3 days that I have gotten out of bed before Fernando.  Half of the time we get up at the same time, and the other half of the time Fernando gets out of bed a good 2 hours before I do.

Morning repose - coffee, quiet, and mountains in the backdrop

It’s nostalgic because it is a peaceful morning.  It is sunny.  I made freshly ground coffee at 7:15am and threw in a load of wash.  It is meant to be a pensive and productive morning with a lazily long breakfast.  But I know that I probably will only get to drink a few sips of my coffee before it turns cold.  It will probably take me 4 hours to eat anything that resembles breakfast.  And even though the diapers I washed are already in the drier (I should air dry them in the sun, but honestly I wanted as much time to relish this quiet morning), that is probably all I will get crossed off my list.  Here is what I would like to get accomplished before noon (and this was not an impossible feat pre-baby):

1. Eat breakfast
2. Do devotions while drinking coffee
3. Do 20 minutes of Yoga
4. Shower and get ready
5. Wash 1 more load of clothes
6. Sweep & mop and Vaccuum the floors
7. Fold 2 giant baskets of laundry
8. Pack for our trip to Divide

So on this quiet morning, 5 years ago, you would have found me in deep thought, pouring over the Word of God.  I would be awestruck by the beauty of the warm early-morning sun, the birds singing outside, the tranquility of getting up before everyone else, and most of all, the impressive looming mountains I have as my view every day.  Maybe it is familiarity or survival mode, but even though the morning is enjoyable, I can’t get passed superficial thoughts of what I have to do today or wondering at what time I will feed the baby.  The morning has lost its enchantment, and I have that homesick feel for what I used to know and live.

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